Thursday, April 14, 2005

Pet Peeves

Quote of the day:
The unselfish effort to bring cheer to others
will be the beginning
of a happier life for ourselves.
- Helen Keller

Dear Readers,
My nature, I am a very positive attitude, upbeat, person and I rarely complain. Most people think I live a charmed life because life is always good. I can almost always find the good in the bad and, believe me, I've had plenty of practice since my Mother died when I was 7, my Dad when I was 12... and my brother and I were raised by an Aunt & Uncle who fulfilled their "duty" in a strict environment, without much emotion. Don't get me wrong, this Aunt & Uncle were decent people. They just thought we needed a stern hand and a short leash. They did lots of good things for us, not the least of which was providing us with a nice house to sleep in and plenty of food to eat. My only story of "child abuse" was the Aunt's efforts to make me eat cooked oatmeal! This is a story in itself, and I'll spare you the details, but I can say there was alot of gagging going on and I missed dinner more than once due to my refusal to eat a breakfast I physically could not swallow. ! :-) For the most part, the stern upbringing was good for us... and, if nothing else, taught me how not to show love. Sometimes, we can learn as much by reverse example as from an actual good example. And this I do carry into my life... with a very happy, loving, relationship with my husband.

Today I'll bravely step out of the box and rag on one of my pet peeves... lazy, irresponsible people who always blame others (anyone) for their difficulties. These are pathetic pity-me people who won't take responsibility for their own problems, which are almost always a result of their own bad judgment. Most of their problems, I'd say, are because they are self-centered and could only think about themselve and the moment instead of considering future consequences of their actions.

Anyway, don't these people realize giving all their power to others (through blame) just keeps them down? Don't they realize, the minute they take responsibility for their poor decisions, their world will start to improve? Don't they realize other people can't have power over your life unless you give it to them? Perhaps they do, but they're just too lazy to do anything about it, and prefer to blame others for their trouble.

It's the one character flaw that totally irritates me. I have tons of sympathy for people who are in bad situations IF they are doing everything they can to help themselves. Sometimes, people have made so many bad decisions it takes a long time to crawl out of the hole. But, litle by little they can get out... and they'll feel so much better about themselves when they do. And once their attitude changes, everything changes!

Have you ever tried to help someone and the more you helped them, the more help they need? Isn't this weird? You'd think it would be just the opposite, but NO. The more you help them, the more they rely on you... and by helping them, you are actually hurting them by making them dependent on you. THEN, the time comes when you've got to do the "tough love" thing and they get really mad because you won't help them. It's a ficious circle. Sometimes you've just got to let them fall to the bottom before they can catch their breath, have time to think about the reality of their situation... and, ultimately, pick themselves up and move forward.

While I'm on a roll, I have one more complaint. It annoys me to no end when people will not deal with problems. It's like they feel ignoring a problem is somehow going to make it go away when, in fact, it generally just gets worse. An example of this are people who won't return phone calls in a timely manner. For two days, I have been waiting for a return call from another realtor, with whom I have a transaction pending. I want an update on the required electrical inspection and other work orders for my buyer. Does she think ignoring my calls is somehow going to make me easier to deal with. Why can't she just call me and tell me if there are delays and/or some problem I don't know about? Perhaps I could help her solve some of the problems. But, NO, she choses to ignore my calls so I can imagine all kinds of possible scenarios... and spend my time thinking of all the nasty things I'd like to say to her (but probably won't) when she does finally call.

O.K. I'm done! I'm not going to say any more about what annoys me, because by dwelling on it I give others the power to control my attitude. So... off I go to do something constructive and try to spread cheer to others!

Hope you all have a great day. I know I will!

Carol Williams,
Realtor, ABR, e-PRO, GRI, REI

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